five facts about owls to distract you from your worries

“What do you worry about?” asks the little gnome man sitting cross-legged on my bedside table.

“Nothing in particular. Who are you?” I stammer, swiftly throwing my shoe at him. I miss. He’s still sitting there. Who is he and how did he get in my house? I have an alarm system installed and all the doors and windows are locked so ????

Gnomes, am I right? So intrusive. Anyway, this post is about owls. Let’s get going.

1. Owls have binocular vision.

I honestly don’t know what the h e c k this means but dude I kinda wish I had it too.

2. Barn owls can eat up to 1,000 mice every year.

That’s freaking rude and disrespectful. Each of those mice probably had a family and now owls have to live with the guilt. Curse you, food chain.

3. Owls belong in the phylum chordata.

I’ve heard this term used in my 10th grade biology class so if you don’t know what this means I suggest you google it because I will not be explaining what a phylum is.

4. Owls cannot digest fur, feathers, or bones which is pretty gross if you ask me.

No further comments thanks.

5. Owls are my sixth favorite animal and most people adore them probably. I bet if you asked your sister her opinion on these cool birds she’d probably say something like “Yeah owls are neato!” I knew one in high school! His name was Tony and he wore a yellow beret!”

I ran out of real owl facts.

music that instantly makes me feel like an old, free-spirited woman driving a jeep

I recently walked by a mirror and realized that I am very pale. they call me “little ghost girl”. just kidding. no one does. but they really should. I’m pale like a victorian-era supernatural apparition.

anyway, music, right? that’s the point of this post? I suppose so. why am I answering my own questions? I don’t know. why am I sitting in my laundry room at 1am on a Monday morning? I wish I knew the answer, buddy.

here is a playlist that no one asked for. enjoy.

lemon boy – cavetown

flowers in your hair – the lumineers

sign of the times – harry styles

stolen dance – milky chance

elephant – tame impala

movement – hozier

style – foster the people

cash machine – oliver tree

otis houndmouth

johnny boy – twenty one pilots

idontwannabeyouanymore billie eilish

• brazil – declan mckenna

electric love – børns

now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go eat some cereal. enjoy your new music. 🙂

late night art

As I sit here doing what the cool kids call “vibin”, I feel inspired. Very disrespectful of my brain to do this to me at this time of night when my creative resources are scarce. Very disrespectful indeed.

My creative juices are already flowing, so I might as well get them out the only way I can at the moment, which is by drawing spontaneous little nothings on adobe illustrator. Special thanks to my little sister for letting me borrow her iPad to make these. I simply cannot create a single graphic on my comically tiny iPhone 5s screen.

Image one: Pretty self explanatory.

Image two: Anxiety + soup is a good combo I guess.

Image three: Uh, Hamilton we shall call it? Yeah, sounds fine. The historical broadway phenomenon is apparently really popular, although overrated. I mean, how would I know though? I’ve never seen it, so I can’t say anything.

Image four: A dog that I met on Sunday in Musella, Georgia. 🙂

Image five: Taken directly from The Lumineers’ album cover of the same name, here we have a half finished sketch of the lovely Cleopatra. Fun fact: I was obsessed with the history of Cleopatra in the 5th grade, and even went as far as dressing like her for Halloween. Good times.

That’s a wrap, folks. I really have no idea how to end blog posts anymore, so here’s a soccer ball for no reason: ⚽️

the best day in awhile

The new normal has become, well, normal. My days since quarantine began have consisted of the same schedule, which is so boring that I won’t even get into the details. I choose to spare you.

Sunday July 12th, 2020 was the best day in awhile. What a statement. I’d consider it the best in awhile because A) life felt somewhat normal again, and B) I ate homemade strawberry ice cream. Pretty epic, if I do say so myself.

An afternoon at Dickey Farms in Musella, Georgia was the perfect escape from the suburban atmosphere that I’ve become so accustomed to. Since buying land out in the country, I’ve grown quite fond of the idea of having my own little world. I can’t wait to raise chickens and name all the woodland creatures on our 5 acre lot. It’s going to be great.

I used to despise all things southern for some strange reason. I really don’t know why. Lately I’ve chosen to embrace it. Do I like peaches? Biscuits? Sweet tea? Yes to two of those. Sweet tea is the spawn of the devil. Change my freaking mind.

Oh, I can’t forget about country music. Curse you, Luke Bryan. I loathe you and your pop/country top 40 hits.

I am choosing to end this post very abruptly. Here, have a sunset.

moving house

“Empty house, empty house

Where has your furniture gone?

The squirrels

The squirrels took everything”

Moving house is apparently the best time to write spontaneous poetry that makes no sense. Many people have asked what the squirrels true intentions were.

Their only intention is to murder and steal.